Selective Tastes

I'm a man of selective tastes. Some would say that I'm downright picky. Is that such a bad thing? Being picky? I can't help it if I know what I like and want. But being picky has this kind of effect on me where I think I know the truths to tastes. Don't get me wrong; I'm always down to try new things. But when it comes to areas of taste that I am particularly adamant about, there's no budging me. And when someone disagrees with these niche beliefs of mine, I get kinda annoyed lol.

Food
This is probably the area that I'm most lenient. I always like to try new food, especially when I go out of town. I think food is the best way to learn about a culture and also just to expand your tastes in general. When I try new stuff and like it, I always make a point to tell friends and family about it, and hopefully they return the favor when it happens to them. But when I offer a new taste to someone and they immediately decline it, I get pretty annoyed.

For example, at work I ordered some pho to-go and brought it back to the office. First thing you gotta know, the people I work with are very close-minded. They stick to their guns of fried or boiled seafood, red meat, and whatever is in the cafeteria. So when they saw me devouring my bowl of pho, they had no idea what I was eating and I offered them to try it. All of them declined cuz they thought it looked too weird, but one finally did try it. It was a tiny sip of the broth, and she immediately didn't like it (she said it tasted like dish-washing detergent. First of all, wtf are you doing drinking detergent, and two, you had only a mouse's sip of the broth).

A second example that annoys me is when people are immediately disgusted by raw food. I get it if you don't like raw food; that's your taste so do what you do. I just think you're wrong lol. I'm not just talking about sushi; I can see how that can disgust or dismay your average sheltered American (I think those same people are closing themselves off from a whole array of tastes you can't reproduce elsewhere). What bothers me most is when someone doesn't cook a beautiful steak the way it's supposed to be cooked: Medium Rare. Rare is cool with me too, but Medium and above has got to go. When you cook a steak past mid-rare, it just loses all those delicious juices and what not that make the steak taste good. I'm absolutely disgusted when someone orders their steak Well Done; it's a complete waste of money and you might as well just buy your own T-Bone and leave it on the pan for 20 minutes because it'll taste exactly the same.

Music
I'm open to hearing different types of music too, but not the music today. Well let me expand on that. The bullshit I hear on the radio completely disgusts me ("Do the Ricky Bobby" - WTF IS THAT) and it's a goddamn shame that it's the only music that most of America know. I'm not an ultra-indie music hipster or anything, but I know that there's just so much more out there than the music that the corporate suits feed us through the radio and MTV. When I say anything on the pop radios suck today, I really do mean it. Rap is just fuckin terrible now, talking about doing dumb dances all the time. Rock has devolved into preppy, whiny bitches that hope to take your girlfriend out to the prom but can't cuz they're too shy so they accept their place and cry about it. Even the pop acts suck compared to before. 2009 Usher sucks compared to 2002 Usher. Music has no soul now.

Thank the Lord that IRC servers, AOL servers, and then finally Napster opened the flood gates for all this great, unknown music to reach our ears. Perfect example for me: Back in 2004, I heard Franz Ferdinand play on Conan one night, so I d/led their album. I liked their music so much that I looked for similar artists. Then came Bloc Party, The Killers, Interpol, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Kaiser Chiefs, Arcade Fire, blah blah the list goes on. I still listen to these artists (well not Bloc Party and The Killers, they mostly sucked after their first albums), and many more similar genre rock bands, all stemming from that one show on Conan. What I'm trying to say is, be open to music; don't let a Suit dictate what you should listen to. Music is wide open to everybody now and there are far better artists than Lil' Rapist or whatever pawn is on the radio.

Movies
This is where I'm most picky. I absolutely will not watch a movie that I know is garbage. Saw 13? Fuck that. Scary Movie 8? F that in the A. The Notebook of 30 Dresses in Prada? A that in the F. The movies I cherish most are the ones that give me a better understanding of life. Doesn't have to be epiphany-inducing, but if it helps me understand the human condition just a little bit more, then it was worth my 2 hours and probably repeated viewings.

My favorite movie: Lost in Translation. Two people, alone and isolated in a foreign land, find each other, explore a surreal metropolis, and in the end find themselves. Fuckin beautiful, totally worth my time.
One movie I hate: Semi-Pro. Will Ferrell plays a dufus asshole, this time as a basketball player; what else is new.

Another movie I like: Sideways. Miles, a divorced teacher and failing author, takes his best friend Jack on a tour of wine country before Jack gets married. During their journey, their friendship is tested, a hint of romance sparks Miles' life, and past demons are confronted, all while getting trashed on the finest Reds that California has to offer. How could you not be even remotely interested in this movie?
A movie I hate: Saw. Uh oh, a maniac is trying to get people to change their lives so he straps them to crazy death machines and what not, killing most in the process. Hmmm... maniac... sense of moral superiority... oddly ironic deaths... twist ending... oh yeah I saw this movie before, but it was actually good. It was called Se7en.

I mean, I also like blockbuster films. I generally like superhero movies, raunchy comedies and all that. But there's a fine line of quality between Scary Movie and Superbad, Jumper and The Dark Knight. I'd never cross that line into the former's territory because I would feel disappointed in myself for wasting time on such garbage.

My Top 5 Favorite Bands

1. 311: If MTV did anything good for me, it would be introducing me to this band. I first heard them on their video for "Down". They sounded so bad ass, mixing rap and reggae with bad ass guitar. They're one of the few bands that can change their style of music and still sound like their own. In all, I've been to eight 311 concerts.
   Favorite song: 8:16am. There's just so many good ones, but this is the best song on their best album "Grassroots".
   
2. Interpol: Simple, angular guitar with steady drums and one of the best vocalists in rock. Admittedly, they're not for everyone. Their music might sound a lil too weird for some people, but just take the time to listen to them, and I think you'll like them.
   Favorite song: Stella Was a Diver and She Was Always Down. Yes, that's the full title of the song. It's about a chick who commits suicide. Yes, it's a little perverse but its perversely awesome.
3. Yeah Yeah Yeahs: Karen O, how I love thee! A completely confident performer, her voice goes from soft and sweet to utterly orgasmic in any song, and it's full of win. I'd totally bang this chick. She's not all that good looking, but I would definitely bang her. The music is pretty good too. Nick Zinner is the best guitarist I've ever heard.
   Favorite song: Rich. I like to think this song is about me. I really can't say that I like this song the most cuz they're all so good, but it's the song that turned me on to them. Black Tongue, Y Control, The Sweets are all really good songs too.
4. Arcade Fire: At first, I wasn't that into them. They came off as overly emotional to me. Then Katrina hit and I became overly emotional. So I started listening to them and I felt their music. After four deaths in the band's family occurred in one year, they took their love of the departed and recorded "Funeral". It's just fuckin beautiful. Their pain, their joy, and cherished memories all laced in orchestra rock.
   Favorite song: Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels). The opening piano and violin, joined by their triumphant guitar and then their pained vocalist just gives me goosebumps. I probably sound like a total fag after talking about this band.
5. Bloc Party (before they sucked): I had trouble thinking of a 5th. There's many bands I like, but no clear-cut #5. If Bloc Party had stopped making music after their album "Silent Alarm", they'd be #2. But "Silent Alarm" alone (and also EP songs before) merits them a spot on this list. That album is probably my favorite album of all time. Thank God I was able to go to their concert before they turned to crap.
   Favorite song: Banquet. This is their most popular song, and deservedly so. It's just so goddamn catchy.
   

Paying Tribute to the King

When I learned that Michael Jackson had died, I was shocked but didn't think much of it. I watched the news for a little bit, silently observing his close friends' and family's reactions. After that, I went about my night as usual. I went to a bar that night and as tribute, they played only Michael Jackson songs. As I sat there with my friend, drinking and talking, I realized that I was tapping my foot to the beat of his music and that's when it hit me. He really is dead. Michael Jackson is dead and there will never be an entertainer like him again.

All day at work, I've been reading and watching anything about Michael Jackson, and the more I learn about him, the more human yet amazing he becomes to me: his sudden rise to godly status, his mental quirks leading to dissection by the media (and us), and the tragic fall from grace that anyone would succumb to under those circumstances. That's the key thing I'm learning about Michael; that man was a human just like you or me. Thriller came out on November 30, 1982. Michael was 24 and I was a year away from birth. I'm 25 now and I don't like it when people talk shit about me, and that happens maybe once in a long while. I can't imagine what it was like when the entire global media is talking shit about you around the clock. Some people's sole purpose in life was to talk shit about Michael. I tell you what, I'd go fuckin crazy if that happened to me.

That's why I try not to look at the broken and disfigured person Michael died as. I look at his music videos from the '80s and I see a king immortalized, a young man at the top of his game, pouring his soul through his song, channeling his passion for dance through his jerky yet ever so smooth moves, and taking the world with him. Watch the video for "Beat It" and tell me you can't vibe with him. I know every single person in modern civilization has been affected by Michael, be it head-nodding to "Billie Jean" or an entire prison complex in the Philippines making an extravagant rendition of the "Thriller" video". I can tell you how he affected me.

My Top 5 Michael Jackson Memories

1. I remember one time when me and my sister were little kids, we were watching MTV and the "Thriller" video came on. The video scared the shit out of us so we hid under the bed covers but at the same time, we were trying to pull the covers from each other so the other would have to face the fear.
2. I was maybe 6 years old when I heard "Bad" for the first time. I was in my dad's van with the whole family and I start singing and dancing to the song. After that, my mom would ask me, "Who's bad, Richard?" and then I'd make my best 6-year-old Michael Jackson impression.
3. In 2nd grade, I loved his song "Do You Remember the Time". The morning commute to school was terrible and boring because my mom always listened to the Oldies station. So, I memorized the song and I'd play it on repeat in my head, making the daily trip bearable.
4. Sophomore year of college, LASO needed a skit for the Date Auction. We wanted to do something crazy, something that had never been done before, and that's when we decided to incorporate video in the skit. The Date Auction was on Halloween, so there was no better video to emulate than "Thriller". We had, hands down, the best skit of the whole show and set a precedent for all skits to follow.
5. At a bar with a group of my closest friends, we were playing a game where if you lost, you had to do a dare. I lost and my dare was to do my best Michael Jackson impression. So I got in the middle of the bar, surrounded by strangers, and did my best moonwalking/crotch-grab/"YEE-HEE", having fun during it all.

Rest in Peace, Michael.

Bland

I've been employed full-time in an office job for 5 months now. From 8am to 5pm, I sit in front of a computer in my cubicle. I'd say probably 4 of those hours are spent looking up random stuff on the internet. 1 hour is for lunch. 30 minutes spread over the course of the day are for smoking cigarettes. The rest of the time is spent in meetings, dozing off in said meetings, and doing actual work intermittently.

Each day I spend in that cubicle, I become less and less interesting. I used to have a lot to talk about when I was living the college life, surviving week by week as a waiter, wasting vital money at bars every night with friends, and having a blast during it all. Now that I've got a real job and I don't have to worry about money as much, I find that it's all that I've got in my personal life now: a job and the things I can buy because of it. This is turning into a "money doesn't buy happiness" kinda thing but it's not really the point of this post. I told a friend of mine that I realized I'm becoming boring. She said that it's not necessarily a bad thing, but that it could mean that I don't have any problems.

Is not having problems really a good thing? That sounds like a pretty fuckin stupid question but let me explain. People talk to me all of the time about their problems. I don't know what it is about me, but when friends need advice or gotta get something personal off their chest, I'm the go-to guy. Of course, I listen and give my honest opinion because I care deeply about my friends. If I can help in any way, I will because I know they would do the same. Yet when a friend comes to me with a personal problem, I get a little envious because I don't have any problems and it worries me. To me having problems means that you're alive, that you're actively participating in life, and when you struggle your way through this problem, you've grown as a person. And I guess that's the whole point of this post. I need some kind of adversity or challenge in my life so I can feel alive. I've become too complacent at this cozy office job and I need to stimulate my emotions somehow.

Maybe I just need a girlfriend lol

Last post, I had fun making those lists so I'm gonna make a list every time I make a new entry.
Top 5 Older Actresses I'd Totally Bang:

1. Marisa Tomei: Have you guys seen The Wrestler? Incredible movie full of raw emotions. Mickey Rourke should've got an Oscar for his performance. But it's not the best part of the movie. Marisa Tomei stripping naked was the best part.


2. Cate Blanchett: She has been a vision of beauty to me since she invited Frodo and his merry band of adventurers to her forest kingdom in The Lord of the Rings. Speaking of Frodo, I have a funny story about him, me, and some weed but that's for another time.


3. Tina Fey: She's so fuckin cute. She's funny as hell, loves star wars, and can be damn pretty when she has to. Richard likes.


4. Diane Lane: Unfaithful. End of story


5. Tilda Swinton: I've had a thing for her ever since I saw her in Broken Flowers. She was wearing like a loose button-up long sleeve and had dyed-black hair. It looked pretty hot. She looked pretty nasty at the Academy Awards when she won an oscar but I just go back to the image in Broken Flowers and I'm good.

LISTS

I love lists. Everybody loves lists. It's the easiest article to read in a magazine. When a dude runs out of shit to write about in a men's magazine, all he's gotta do is be like, "fuck it, i'm gonna make a list. i'll make... 'the top 10 types of assholes on a subway'" or something ridiculous like that. And of course, everybody is gonna read it because lists are short, focused, and generally don't require a lot of brain power to understand. I mean, look at that list "25 Things About Me"; it was spreading like swine flu on facebook. So, I feel compelled to write a list of my own. Here's my list of my top 3 not-doing-shit-so-might-as-well-do-this lists:

THE ULTIMATE LIST OF LISTS

1. The Top 5 Television Shows Currently on Air
   
   
   
   1. LOST: The best drama/sci-fi show on television. When I meet people that don't watch Lost and I tell them it's the best show on tv, the first question they ask is "They still haven't gotten off the island?" No nigga, they haven't. It's not about getting off the island, it's about solving the island.
      Best Episode: There's so many, but I'd have to pick Walkabout. After watching that episode, you realize that this show is special.
   
   
   2. South Park: I hate when people knock on South Park. Those same people probably haven't watch an episode since its first season when it was crude and ridiculous. Well, it's still fuckin crude and ridiculous but the humor is more satirical. The exploits that creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker imagine are so crazy that it's nothing like you've ever seen on tv. Family Guy's got nothing on this show.
      Best Episode: Scott Tenorman Must Die. I can't explain it, just watch it.
   
   
   3. Mad Men: I won't list the numerous Emmys and Golden Globes that this show has won. After all, that would be kinda ridiculous in this already ULTIMATE LIST. But I will tell you that if you find human nature intriguing and how it would adapt to a high-powered business environment, then this show is for you.
      Best Episode:The New Girl. It's in the middle of season 2, so don't watch it till you've gotten to that point. But it perfectly illustrates the type of will needed to succeed.
   
   
   4. The Office: I work in an office. I'm on my grind from 8 to 4:30. And everday that I drag myself into that cubicle, I hope and I pray that it would be the day that something fuckin crazy happens like what I see on The Office.
      Best Episode: Casino Night. The season 2 finale has it all - humor, office romance, cliffhangers. Watch this and make your life better.
   
   
   5. Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations: The travel channel kinda sucks. It really does. So does any other channel dedicated to some kind of activity, like the food network, the channel for being stupid called MTV, and the home & gardening channel. But this show is the travel channel's saving grace. This guy has the ultimate job; he travels around the world, eating awesome food, drinks and smokes a ton, and gets paid millions for it. I'll never be able to do that but this show is the closest I'll get to it.
      Best Episode: The Spain episode or the Tokyo Episode. Just do yourself a favor and watch both.
   
   


2. The Top 5 Websites I Visit Daily Not Called Facebook
   
   
   
   1. icanhascheezburger.com: I love cats. I've had cats my whole life. This site takes my love of cats and makes funny phrases out of it. Brings a smile to my face everday.
   
   
   2. wired.com: The latest news in technology and science. They report discoveries and developments that shape our immediate and long-term future. More people should visit this site.
   
   
   3. joystiq.com: It's no secret that I love video games. When I was in high school, my career goal was to work in the video games industry. Stupid me didn't research it enough and I went to college for computer science with no real concentration on game design. So here I am, an accountant and IT security administrator. I wish I could travel back in time and tell young, physically-fit richard these things lol.
   
   
   4. saintsreport.com: Some people say my love for the Saints is an obsession, borderline unhealthy. Is it wrong to love too much? If it is, then I don't wanna be right.
   
   
   5. failblog.com: From the same people who make icanhascheezburger.com, this site is good for a laugh everyday too. It's amazing how stupid some people can be.
   
   


3. The Top 5 Bars in New Orleans That Get Me Trashed For Cheap
   
   
   
   1. St. Joe's: When I lived uptown, somehow this bar became our nightly watering hole. Hardly anybody (well any asians at least) know about this place, and I'd like to keep it that way for reasons I'll share later. The bartenders/bouncers are cool as shit, drinks are cheap, and it's a very chillin place.
   
   
   2. Bridge Lounge: I think this bar is one of the better places to take lady friends. The lighting is very low-key and they make pretty good fruity mojitos. Of course, I never tried one cuz I'm a G but I know the ladies love them. Lately, the asian crowd has been infesting this place and I'm afraid it won't be as cool anymore, like Monkey Hill.
   
   
   3. Monkey Hill: This place is the original uptown hangout spot. Stephanie and I started coming here maybe two-three times a week after the storm. I kinda lost interest in it when more and more asian people started showing up here, but it's always been a good social place. So why don't I like it when asians start showing up? I'm not sure exactly. I know I probably have some part in them making their way to these bars, either through word of mouth or whatever. I guess it's like I see these people out at the clubs and other kinda tense environments, and at these bars I just wanna chill.
   
   
   4. Philip's Bar: One word to describe this place: talent. It's freaking everywhere, every night. There's always at least 3 hot chicks, even on dead nights. I say 3 because the bartenders are usually pretty hot too. Has a good upscale lounge vibe yet very cheap drinks.
   
   
   5. Dos Jefes: I haven't been here in a minute but I still like it. It's not as cheap as the other bars or have the amount of talent. Honestly I'm not sure why we started going here. It's expensive as shit and there's no girls whatsoever. Yeah fuck this place lol
   
   

Well, that's it. I'm not sure why I wrote this out because the only people who are gonna read this already know most of this shit about me. As the football player would say, "It is what it is."

My vision for a New Orleans Saints movie

With the NFL draft just days away and the season opener a few months from now, I've been having Saints withdrawals; so, I started dreaming of a Saints movie. It would follow the Saints through the magical 2006 season when we made it to the NFC Championship. Here's the breakdown:

Brad Pitt as Coach Sean Payton

Christian Bale as Drew Brees

Derek Luke as Reggie Bush

Lawrence Fishburne as Deuce McAllister

Tim Robbins as GM Mickey Loomis

Brian Cox as Saints owner Tom Benson

Naomi Watts as Beth Payton

Charlize Theron as Brittney Brees

Anthony Anderson as wisecrackin' Hollis Thomas

Produced and Directed by Paul Greengrass

ACT 1: GUTTING THE HOUSE
The movie opens with a montage of Hurricane Katrina and eventually leads to the Saints road game win vs. Carolina in the season opener. This leads to the NFL's telethon during the Saint's Monday night game vs. the Giants, a game we lost completely and started the tone for the season. Jim Haslett resigns, Aaron Brooks is benched, and the Saints finish the season 3-13 with the 2nd pick in the draft. In a press conference, Tom Benson and Mickey Loomis introduce the new head coach of the Saints, Sean Payton, who promises to build a winning football team. The montage cuts to Payton and Loomis, at night time in a conference room, studying over a team depth chart and a draft board hung on the wall. Payton looks at Loomis and says, "We've got a lot of work to do."

Payton's at the office, watching highlights of Reggie Bush, wishing he could draft him but knows the Texans will take him. He gets a call to leave for a flight to San Diego to meet with a free agent prospect, Drew Brees. (I'd include the story of how we got Drew, but I can't remember how it goes exactly. I just know that Payton thought we'd lost him after making some silly mistakes, but Drew decided to come here to make a difference.)

Feeling good about the roster changes and signing Brees, Payton is eating dinner with his wife at a restaurant when he gets a phone call. He listens to the caller and his eyes widen, then soon hangs up. He immediately grabs a pen and some napkins and starts formulating plays. His wife asks, "Sean, who was that and what happened?" Payton replies, "Honey, that was Loomis. He said Houston drafted Mario Williams. Reggie Bush is gonna be a Saint now."

ACT 2: CLEANING UP THE MESS
It's summer in Jackson, MS. The sun beats down on Payton, whose sweat is clearly visible through his shirt and even his Saints visor. Yet, he appears completely unaffected by the heat as he trains his eye on Brees and the first team offense. Brees looks right and then looks left, throwing a deep bomb to a rookie who just substitued Donte Stallworth in the lineup. Practice breaks for lunch and the rookie jogs back as the offense congratulates him. A big man is the first to congratulate him. "That was a good play, rookie. What's your name?" "Marques. Marques Colston." "Good to have you on the team. My name is Dulymus but don't ever call me that. Call me Deuce." (Here's where I'd put in a montage of training camp stuff you normally see in football movies. Hitting the pads, one-on-one tackle drills, etc. Also, I'm not totally sure Drew participated much in camp because of the surgery. Same with Reggie; I think he was on a contract holdout until towards the end of training camp but I'm not sure either.)

(This is getting kinda long so I'll cut to the specific scenes I have in my head lol)

After winning their first two games, fans all around New Orleans flock to stores to get Saints gear. People take off of work early to tailgate. Children are picked up from school wearing their favorite Saints jersey. The Saints fever culminates to Super Bowl-type atmosphere for the reopening of the Superdome on Monday Night Football vs. the Falcons. This scene would include the U2/Green Day concert, complete ownage of the Falcons, and of course the Steve Gleason blocked punt. Payton, Drew, and Reggie all run up and down the sideline stands, giving high-fives to the fans. The TV announcer is heard saying "This team is the real deal."

ACT 3: WEATHERING THE STORM
We would see the Saints lose to Carolina and then get blown out by Baltimore. The losses eventually lead to a heartbreaking loss vs. Pittsburgh. Drew tries his best to march us down field but a dropped ball by Terrence Copper seals the win for Pittsburgh, and the team is completely dejected. The next week, the team plays with no emotion, getting blown out by Cincinatti by hot shot receiver Chad Johnson. At 6 and 4, the team is losing faith in themselves.

Payton, Brees, Bush, and Deuce go to a busy Emeril's for dinner. As they discuss the week's game vs. Atlanta, they start hearing a slow clap that eventually grows to a raucus crowd. The entire restaurant is on their feet, cheering the players on. They look around with amazement and regain their drive to win. Payton and Brees exchange stern looks, their eyes communicating their determination. (I know this happened one time during the season and I'm not sure when exactly, but it fit with the theme of the act lol)

Quick scenes of the blow out win vs. Atlanta and Reggie's 4 touchdown game vs. San Francisco game leads to the Sunday night game vs. a now red-hot Dallas team. All the analysts are picking Dallas to win. Things don't look good when Julius Jones busts a long TD run, but Drew rallies the offense in the huddle. We procede to demolish Dallas, with highlights of FB Karney taking in 3 touchdowns and Reggie's amazing screen-pass TD. Zoom in on Tony Romo's dejected face and Parcells' frustration.

ACT 4: PROTECTING THE HOUSE
The Saints have now clinched the division and 2nd seed. Each key player is seen watching the playoff games during their bye weekend. The wild-card weekend ends and the Saints turn their attention to a very confident Eagles team. Payton and Brees strategize for the game. Everybody is extra attentive during film sessions. Focus and determination. The scene for the game would include all of the ups and downs of the game, especially Deuce carrying the whole Philly defense into the end zone. The game ends with the Saints in victory formation and New Orleans is going crazy.

Cut to the NFC Championship game. Payton has just yelled at Reggie for taunting Urlacher on his TD catch-and-run and the game unfolds from there. Insert depressing music here as the team is blown out and Drew leaves the field very disappointed in himself. The team goes through the motions of taking off their pads, packing in their hotel, and boarding the plane. The sense of frustration and regret is seen all over their faces. The plane lands, and Payton and Drew ride down the escalator to the baggage claim, where they see thousands of fans cheering them on, chanting "WHO DAT". High-fives all around. Payton and Brees exchange looks again, but this time communicating their understanding of victory. Roll Credits.